I never read for someone else without reading for myself, too.

A blessing on my head, mazel tov, mazel tov/To see a daughter wed . . . Nope, slow that record down. No daughters wed yet. She's only 13 and this is not that day and age. Though, once upon a time, she would have been well-nigh old enough, if not married already to a man almost definitely her senior. <sigh> No, I don't wish that for her, even if it meant teenage angst could go live somewhere else. Sheepish. It's been that kind of week, y'all.

I read for a friend for this first time on Facebook this morning. The first time I've done it "in public." Where people can see who I am and what I do and that I do this and believe in this. I won't record those insights here. This here is all mine and my insights. She can publish hers on her blog.

This is a new spread called "The Light of the Solstice." It was in the Llewellyn Tarot newsletter this morning. I use The Gaian Tarot almost exclusively now. I have the Anna K Tarot on eBay, if you're interested.

You can find it here, if you are also into such things: http://www.llewellyn.com/journal/article/2056?utm_source=tarotup1216&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=tarotup1216

1: Returning Hope.What are you hopeful about?
Card: Ace of Fire. You are bursting with new energy.

(That's true this morning - I've already mostly cleaned the kitchen and done downward dog and plank and gotten three eBay orders ready to go.)

Your sense of self is heightened and you are feeling assertive. You are charged with creativity and can't wait to begin new projects

(this blog! I am super-excited about this blog!)

You may be discovering a new way of expressing your sexuality

(I think expressing it would be lovely, in and of itself. We're stressed.)

You are beginning a transformation of some kind, 

(yes, I'm letting go of quite a lot of things this season. Everything that clutters me.)

and quite possibly a healing as well.

(Yes, decluttering, which sounds like such a utilitarian word, but really is getting rid of everything that brings me dis-ease. It's been quite healing already. I can't wait to be rid of all the hangers-on. I expect to have more energy.)

2. Making Wishes. What does your heart desire?
Card: Five of Water. You are hovering on the edge of grief, despondency, or discouragement. You may be regretting lost opportunities or missing someone terribly. Depression has been called "anger turned inward," but also "intuition unheeded."

(I am sitting here trying to discount these sentences, because I'm in a happy, good mood right now, but the truth is, intuition says I need to say this to you: Yes. I have been on the edge lately. My mother, my father, all my grandparents are dead. My mother used to make a beautiful Christmas and I am dealing with letting her way go and not letting it get in the way of being able to make Christmas, or Yule, to be more accurate, my way still pleasurable and meaningful. Also, I'm having money troubles. It's ok; I think I've finally gotten my head around the situation now, but it's discouraging. I never really had to deal with this before.)

It can be hard to find a way out of the gloom, and yet, it is not impossible. There's a boat in the distance that will take you through the mists to the farther shore.

(Avalon!)

What is on the other side?

(The other side? So many death/Vampire Diaries references, so little time. I think I am already on the other side of it. I have money in the bank and I'm grateful. I'm content to be here, typing away, I'm grounded to the earth, albeit through the carpet, and my soul is at ease. Cue Arrested Development.)

3. Seeking Visions. What is your vision for the future? Where do you see yourself next year at this time?
Card: Strength. You are learning to embrace the wilder, more instinctual facets of your personality. If you were taught to consider the body and the material world as inferior to the mind and spirit, you are discovering now that is not the case.

(So much this! I read this quote this morning and posted it on my Facebook wall: "None of us are above our pain or above being human. When we try to be, we pass our suffering on to everyone around us. None are above being wounded or above being the one doing the wounding. Life is a weighty gift. Full of chaos and consequences, full of choices and challenges, full of healing what we can and making peace with what we might not be able to. For us, life can only be lived through the very flawed vehicles of our humanity." - Chani Nicholas, astrologer.)

The development of your inner fortitude (my Grandma's favorite word) is the unseen blessing of difficult times. When you face your fears, when you accept the reality of an unpleasant situation (I have put too much money into my business), when you acknowledge the truth of what you've been avoiding, you develop the courage that allows you to persevere. If you've never before been tested (pfff. My mother, my world, had cancer,) you may be surprised to discover a wild source of strength you never knew you had - like a woman giving birth alone in the wilderness.

I never answered the question. Where do you see yourself next year at this time? I will be a better steward of my resources. My business will be flourishing and supporting itself. (You can help with that: go here = https://JenniferChappell.po.sh) I will still live in this same house. My family and I will be another year older. My husband will be about to graduate from college. My oldest son will still be healthy and happy and working. My younger son will be in the middle of his senior year of high school. My daughter will be in the middle of her last year of middle school and be accepted to either the performing arts magnet or the liberal arts magnet. My animals will all be another year older. I will finally be able to do a 10-second wall handstand and 5 minutes of hill sprints and 25 consecutive bodyweight squats.

4. Sense of Balance. What will restore balance to your life?
Card: Five of Earth. You are dealing with stress on a survival level, most likely with your health or finances. (Finances. Working on it.)

5. Goodwill Toward Others. How can you give of yourself to others?

(I can go hug my daughter. Be right back.)

Card: The Builder, reversed. Stop stifling and micromanaging others. Make decisions. Be a good steward of your resources. Sustain your resources. Set limits and boundaries. Try to have a positive attitude about fatherhood.

6. Advice. What can you do on the mundane level?
Card: The Moon. There is nothing mundane about The Moon.